Hidden Nightmares
by Ayrtha21keybladewielder
Summary: Ianto survives COE, but not in time to stop Jack from leaving. The poison did somethng to his mind. It's bringing back the memories of his painful past. How can he get through this without his Captain?
1. Chapter 1

**Hidden Nightmares**

**So, second attempt at a Torchwood story. First attempt at a Torchwood chapter story. I have a high obsession with Ianto Jones. And let me be the first to say that I cried so hard when Ianto died. I threw my ice cream at the TV too. But it's done with and I'm okay with it now. That's what fan fiction is for. We can bring him back or keep him alive. I have decided to keep him alive. **

**Ianto survives the poison. But he doesn't wake up in time enough to stop Jack from leaving. With Jack gone, Ianto has to deal with his hidden past coming back to him. The poison did something to his mind and the memories he kept locked away and buried deep down are coming to the surface. How can he face them without his Captain to save him? Ianto/Martha**

**A/N-I hope you guys like it lol this is all a bit new to me.**

**Disclaimer-Don't own Torchwood, if I did things would be extremely different.**

When Ianto opened his eyes, he found himself inside a thin red sleeping bag. Wait no scratch that, a thin red body bag. His mind was fuzzy and he couldn't see straight. Moving his arms up to try and unzip the bag, Ianto groaned as they cracked and ached. His muscles felt as if they hadn't been moved in days. Where was Jack? Gwen? Rhys? Rhiannon? Hell Ianto would even settle for Johnny. As he grasped the edge of the zipper, Ianto squinted his eyes as he pulled it down, freeing himself from the small confinement.

Sitting up took more than two tires but once he had, Ianto took a deep breath of the fresh air. He came to the conclusion that he was freezing. Looking around and blowing a puff of air from his mouth, Ianto realized he was in a very large freezer. All around him there were body bags, frowning he drew his knees up as he tried to remember.

After a few moments of thinking it finally hit him, the children all stopping, them screaming and relaying the messages of the aliens. The 456 they had been called. He remembered being on the run with Jack and Gwen. He remembered being poisoned and he remembered dying.

Snapping his head up, Ianto looked over his own hands. He may have been cold but blood was definitely circulating through his body. Why was he alive? He should have been dead. How long had he been dead?

Stumbling to his feet, Ianto leaned against the freezer door. Searching his pockets, Ianto pulled out his cell phone and frowned at it. Shouldn't this have been taken from him? But then he suddenly smiled.

Gwen.

He loved that woman, she must have not let them take it. She was probably in denial about his death. She was probably waiting for his call. Waiting for him to tell her that he was alive and well and needed her to come get him out of here. His grin spreading, Ianto flipped open his phone and turned it on. He scrolled through his contacts. Stopping at Jack's name, maybe he should call him. Or maybe he should wait and surprise him. Ianto went back up to Gwen's name and pressed the call button. Then holding the phone up to his ear, he began to shake in both coldness and excitement.

When her face wavered into the phone, Ianto let out a cry of Joy.

"I-Ianto?"

--

Gwen had been shopping for baby clothes with Rhys. They were in the little girls section. Rhys was convinced beyond all matter that they were having a girl. Gwen on the other hand was secretly hoping for a boy. Because if they had a boy then she could name him Ianto. Her fingers shook slightly as she picked up a small pink dress.

She still was not use to the fact that Jack and Ianto were gone. Martha had agreed to come and be their Doctor but they were kind of lost without their Captain and Tea Boy. Gwen knew that Jack was hurting, he'd lost his boyfriend, his grandson and his daughter. All within six hours. But did he not think that the other three of the team were hurting as well? Martha and Gwen cried hard over Ianto, Rhys had pretended not to care but the two girls could hear him crying in the kitchen when he came to work with her.

"Gwen?" Rhys said putting his hand on her shoulder.

Turning to face him with her wide eyes she tilted her head.

"Your phones ringing love."

Looking down, she could heard the soft melody playing from her pocket. Digging it from her jeans, Gwen glanced at the caller I.D.

She stared at it.

Ianto.

Gwen blinked twice before she flipped her phone open so fast she was surprised it didn't break. Then she slowly brought it to her ear,

"I-Ianto?"

"Hi Gwen."

His voice sounded as if it hadn't been used in forever. And she could hear the excitement in it. She felt her knees buckle and she leaned against Rhys for support.

"Oh my god," She gasped out. "Ianto is that really you?"

He laughed.

"Yea, it's really me." He paused for a second. "How long has it been?"

Gwen leaned on Rhys for full support as she felt herself surge with happiness. Her arm curled around her large belly and her face broke into a smile.

"Six months." She said tears blurring her vision, Ianto swore in Welsh. "Oh god Ianto you have no idea how good it is to hear your voice."

He chuckled.

"Can you come and get me out of here?" He asked after a moment or two.

"I'm on my way." Gwen said motioning to Rhys that they were leaving. "We'll see you soon?"

"Gwen?" Ianto paused, hesitating as if he didn't want to ask the next question.

"What is it love?" She asked her brow furrowing as she and Rhys left all the stuff they were planning on buying in the middle of the aisle.

"Can we not hang up the phone?" Ianto asked quietly. "I don't want to be alone."

"Of course." Gwen said. "I'll stay on the phone with you until we get there."

She heard Ianto sigh in relief and a smile spread across her tear stained face.

"Your stomach." Ianto said suddenly.

"What about it?" Gwen asked as Rhys practically sped towards the Hub.

"It must be big now." He said. "You're six months pregnant."

Gwen laughed and nodded.

"I'm bloody huge!" She exclaimed. "I still have a hard time wrapping my head around all this, I'm going to be a mom soon."

"And a wonderful one you will make." Ianto said.

Gwen smiled.

"Do you want kids Yan?" She asked.

"I did." He sighed. "Before I met Jack, put now I'm not so sure."

Gwen froze. Jack, how could she bloody forget about Jack? He wasn't here, he was off on some space adventure. How was Ianto going to take this? Jack would be one of the first people he'd want to see. He's been dead for six months, but it was Jack who was the one with him when he died.

"Gwen?" Ianto's voice cut through her thoughts. "You still there?"

"I'm here Ianto." She just about squeaked.

"Do you know what you're having?" He questioned.

"Rhys is convinced it's a girl but I myself want a boy." Gwen replied as she jumped from the car and walked as fast as she could towards the Hub.

"Why?" Ianto asked. "I thought you'd want a girl."

"Well, I was planning on naming the boy after you." Gwen said as she walked through the door of the Hub. The alarm ringing loudly.

"You were?"

Gwen could practically feel him blushing through the phone.

"Yea I was, hang on a second love." Gwen covered the phone with her hand. "Martha! Martha come on!"

The dark skinned woman appeared from down in the medical bay. Hands on her hips,

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"It's Ianto." Gwen said waving around the phone. "He's alive we've got to go get him!"

Martha's eyes widened.

"What do you mean he's alive?" She exclaimed rushing towards her.

Gwen handed her the phone and began to drag Martha towards the door. Martha looked at the phone in confusion before putting it up to her ear.

"Ianto?"

--

This voice was new, this was not Gwen. But Ianto got the feeling that he new this voice. It was a familiar voice that was for sure. But it was not Rhys, Jack or his sister. When the person repeated his name it hit him.

"Martha?"

He remembered Martha. The doctor that had given Owen a run for his money, the one that Jack spoke very highly of. The pretty one who was always nice to him.

"Oh god Ianto!" Martha just about squealed. "It's really you!"

He laughed, he and Martha didn't even know each other that well and here she was getting excited over the fact that he was alive.

"Yes it's me." He said. "How are you?"

"Forget how I am!" Martha said. "How are you? Does anything hurt? Are you standing up?"

Ianto smiled as Martha went into full medical mode.

"I'm not really sure how I am." He said after a moment. "My whole body hurts now that I think about it and yes I am standing up."

"Your muscles must be stiff," Martha commented more to herself.

"I haven't moved in six months apparently." Ianto said dryly.

Her could hear the smile in her voice.

"I missed that." She murmured.

"Missed what?" Ianto inquired.

"Your sarcasm and humor." She said. "Granted I wasn't with Torchwood long but still you always made me laugh."

"I try my hardest." Ianto replied.

Martha chuckled.

"We'll be there in five minutes Yan." She said suddenly. "We're pulling into the parking lot right now okay?"

Ianto bit his lip, he could by himself for five minutes couldn't he?

"Okay," He said quietly. "See you soon?"

"Of course." Martha replied.

"Martha?" Ianto muttered.

"Yes Ianto?" She asked.

"Please hurry."

**It's short and I'm not entirely happy with it. But still, I want to know what you guys think about it. Cause whether or not I continue is completely up to you guys.**

**Reviews keep my fingers typing chapters!**

**Danyi**


	2. Use Somebody

**Use Somebody**

**Hey guys, second chapter going on here. I'm really happy that so many people like it. I'm still not too sure about it, but I'm going to continue hopefully. I kind of have to plan this out better but still. The show must go on I suppose.**

**So we're going to get Ianto out. Things have to be explained and he's going to need to be taken care of. He might even start out with the problems that the poison did to him.**

**A/N-I tend to name my chapters after the songs that I'm listening to and or addicted to. This one is named after the song "Use Somebody" by Kings Of Leon.**

Time moved slowly for Ianto. Five minutes felt like twenty. He didn't know why but it did. And in those five minutes he managed to get buried deeply in his thoughts. He could only think about his past. His past before Torchwood, before Lisa, before Canary Warf. He could only think about the times that he had between his fifth and his nineteenth birthday. That hadn't been a very happy time in his life but Ianto had managed.

He and Rhiannon only had each other for most of their young lives. They were close, told each other everything, looked out for each other. Even shared a room together. That was until Rhiannon had met Johnny. Then she spent all her time with him and Ianto was left to his own devices. Ianto tried as much as possible to be out of the house, he didn't mind his mom but his father was a whole different story.

Another one of Ianto's painful memories from his past was Adrian. He had told Rhiannon that it wasn't men it was just Jack but that wasn't completely the truth. He'd been young and foolish when he met Adrian. He was older, seemed cooler and was willing to take care of Ianto. Or Ianto just wanted a way out. Either way, things took a turn for the worse after a couple of months and Ianto would never forget that horrible time he'd spent with Adrian.

When the freezer door banged open, Ianto was barely on his feet before a flash of dark hair was attaching itself to him. Gwen nearly knocked them to the ground, but Ianto managed to keep them standing. She was trembling, her belly causing a gap between them. But Gwen clung to him none the less. And then she began to cry.

"Don't cry Gwen." He said soothingly as he rubbed her back. "It's okay."

She pulled back slightly and cupped his face. Her large eyes were pouring tears and the moment she caught sight of his face she yanked him back to her.

"I can't believe it's really you!" She cried into his shoulder. "Oh god I've missed you!"

Kissing his cheek repeatedly, Gwen held his face and stared into his blue eyes. Ianto offered her a shaky smile. And Gwen beamed at him.

"Okay Cooper," Another voice said. "It's my turn."

Gwen gave a watery chuckle. Then she stepped aside. Ianto looked in the direction of the door and met Martha's eyes. They simply stared at each other for a moment before Martha let out a cry of happiness. She threw herself into him and they stumbled back, Ianto let out a slight grunt when their bodies connected but wrapped his arms around her none the less.

"I've missed you Ianto." She murmured, her fingers stroking the back of his head. Ianto buried his face in her shoulder, letting himself get lost in her scent. Martha always smelled amazing, some kind of Jamaican spice.

"You ready to leave love?" Martha whispered in his ear.

Nodding but not releasing her, Ianto pulled back slightly give her a shaky smile. Martha grinned before taking his hand tightly in hers. He held out his other hand to Gwen and she took it.

They led him out of the freezer and Ianto gave a huge sigh.

"I need a shower." He muttered. "And a new suit."

Shaking her head, Martha glanced back at him.

"Your flat had to be sold." She said quietly. "But all your stuff is at your sisters house, I'm not sure how we're going to explain this to her but still."

"So," Ianto frowned. "Where will I stay?"

"Well we're still working on the repairs for the Hub, so…" Gwen trailed off looking at Martha.

"You can stay with me." She said.

"What about your fiancée?" He asked. "Tom?"

Martha squeezed his hand,

"I'll explain it later, yea?" She asked.

Ianto nodded, not going to push it. He couldn't help but wonder where Jack was. Wouldn't he have come with them to get him out? Or maybe he was on a mission across the country. As they headed out to Rhys and Gwen's van, Ianto saw the husband of Gwen. When Ianto climbed into the back he and Rhys clasped hands.

"Good to see ya mate." He said.

Martha climbed into the back with him and Ianto found himself needed to be in contact with someone. However he wasn't so sure if Martha was okay with that, after all they didn't know each other well enough. But Martha being the professional that she is, climbed into the seat, got herself comfortable before turning towards Ianto and opening her arms.

He gave her a small smile before practically collapsing into her open arms. Martha shushed him, kissed his forehead and stroked his hair.

The ride to Martha's flat was quiet but calm. Ianto clung to Martha but did not sleep. She kept her lips pressed to his hairline. Both her and Gwen were dreading telling him that Jack was not there. That he had left and disappeared into the sky.

How were they suppose to tell a man who'd been dead for six months that his boyfriend, his lover, his best friend was gone? Not to mention they weren't sure where he was and there was virtually no way to contact him. The girls already knew that Ianto was not going to take it well at all. He'd put up the mask like he normally did but on the inside he'd be broken.

"After I get cleaned up," Ianto murmured into Martha's neck. "Will you answer all my questions?"

"I'll tell you anything you want to know." Martha replied biting her lip.

--

When they finally stopped moving, Martha took off her seatbelt. Climbing out of the car, she held out her hand to Ianto.

"Let's get you cleaned up Mr. Jones." She said.

"Ianto," Gwen began rolling down her window. "You call me when you get settled yea?"

Nodding, Ianto gave her a smile and hugged her through the window.

"Thank you Gwen." He whispered in her ear.

"No problem." She said kissing his cheek. "Now go get yourself together love."

Returning Gwen's kiss to the cheek, Ianto re-took Martha's hand and followed her up to the flat.

Digging in her pocket she unlocked the door and led him through.

"Alright lets see what we can find for you to wear." Martha murmured. "Shower first though, come on you."

Pulling him into the bathroom, Martha pointed out the towels and the shampoo. She made a full circle next to Ianto, making sure she had not missed anything to point out. When she was sure she hadn't, she turned to the silent man next to her, giving him a bright smile and leaving him alone to get himself cleaned up.

Ianto had almost called out for her to stay. To sit on the toilet seat and wait for him to take his shower. He didn't like the silence that filled all around him. He'd been surrounded by silence for the last six months.

Sighing at how helpless he sounded, Ianto began to strip down to nothing. Turning on the shower, he stepped in and pulled the curtain. Letting the hot water pour down onto the top of his head, Ianto closed his eyes. He was tired but did not want to sleep, something in the back of his mind kept telling him that if he went to sleep he'd never wake up. And he wanted to see Jack before he slept.

Squirting shampoo onto his palm, Ianto ran his fingers through his curly hair. Scrubbing at it, began to hum quietly. Granted the shower made noise but still it was too silent for his liking. Tilting his head back and letting the shampoo run down his back, Ianto let out a tired sigh.

"Ianto, can I come in?" Martha called from the other side of the door.

"Yea." Ianto replied.

He heard the door open and Martha laid something down on the counter next to the sink.

"I couldn't find a suit." She said, the amusement clear in her voice. "Are jeans and a T-shirt alright?"

"That's fine." Ianto said. "Thank you Martha."

"No problem love, I'm going to make you something to eat too." She replied before leaving the bathroom.

Ianto smiled, he was hungry. He didn't even care what it was, he just wanted something to eat. Eating meat might take him a little while since the incident with the cannibals was still in his mind but he'd eat it none the less.

Cutting off the water, Ianto reached around the curtain and pulled his towel to him. Wrapping it around he waist he stepped out, looking at the clothes he smiled. Martha was too nice to him, she must have been taking good care of him on Jack's order. She knew that Jack would be highly upset if he wasn't taken care of.

Ianto scoffed and rolled his eyes. As if he couldn't take care of himself.

Drying himself off, Ianto picked up the boxers and pulled them on. Then the blue jeans. He even found a black leather belt laying underneath them. After it was securely around his waist, Ianto picked up the t-shirt and held it up so he could look at it. It was black with red and white scribble lines all over it. Like a child had taken paint to it.

Ianto stared at the scribbles for a moment. They reminded him of something. A memory, something he had not thought about in a long time. Something he did not want to think about. It was a memory both he and Rhiannon had locked away in the back of their heads a very long time ago. But the more Ianto stared at the t-shirt the more the fuzzy memory began to become so much clearer.

_Flashback_

_It was late, really late. Around two in the morning, he could barely see the numbers on the grandfather clock in the corner. They should have been sleep. They had school in a couple of hours. Rhiannon had a test in both English and Math. While he was sure that they would be given a fitness test in gym. That was Ianto hated being a freshman, they all had to take gym. But none of that mattered at the moment. The only thing that matter was getting all this glass cleaned up before he came back._

"_We're not going to make it." Rhiannon muttered glancing up at the clock. "He's going to be back any minute."_

"_Just shut up and keep sweeping." Ianto replied._

_Biting her lip, Rhiannon did as her big brother told her to. It was times like these when they were at their closest. When they had to clean up the aftermath of their father and his temper._

"_We can't sweep up the big pieces of the plates." Rhiannon said suddenly._

"_I'll get those." Ianto said._

"_You'll cut yourself." Rhiannon protested._

_Sending her a look that said I-am-your-big-brother-and-will-do-as-I-please, Ianto dropped to his knees and began to pick up the glass. Rhiannon rolled her eyes at him but did not stop sweeping. They had to hurry._

_Ianto still was not sure what had happened exactly. He'd been upstairs in his room when he heard all the yelling. And by the time he'd gotten downstairs his father had already broken four cups and was working on his fifth plate. Rhiannon was standing by the sink, her large brown eyes glued on their father. _

"_What was his problem?" Ianto asked as he dumped some of the glass into the trash bin._

"_Something about the chicken wasn't done." Rhiannon replied. "I didn't get to hear all of it before he started throwing things."_

_Nodding, Ianto rubbed at his tired eyes with the back of his hand. They were almost done, a plate left and two cups. But the glass from them had shattered all over the place._

"_Ianto!" Rhiannon suddenly exclaimed, just as he put two large jagged pieces of glass in his hand.._

_Head snapping up, Ianto turned to face the window. The lights from the car flashed through it and he was on his feet._

"_Go to our room." Ianto said instantly._

"_I can't just leave you down here." Rhiannon said clutching the broom to her._

"_Rhiannon," Ianto said firmly. "Go."_

_Biting her lip in frustration, Rhiannon handed him the broom before racing for the steps. She took them two at a time and Ianto didn't move until she had disappeared. He heard the door to their room shut and he laid the broom against the counter and sunk back to his knees. He was just about to dump his hand of the glass when the front door opened._

"_Why aren't you in bed?" His father asked._

"_Had to clean this up Tad." Ianto said quietly, not looking up to meet his eyes._

"_You have school tomorrow." He said._

"_I know." Ianto nodded._

_Ianto didn't even know he had walked up to him. All he knew is that he was soon picked up by the hand that was grasping the glass. His father was tall, he was holding Ianto up off the ground by that one hand. Ianto winced as he felt the glass cut into his palm. He should have dumped the glass into the trash._

"_Is this an excuse to not have to go to school?" His father demanded. Squeezing his hand to the point where Ianto heard some the glass crack inside of it. The blood was starting to drip from his closed hand._

"_Is it?" His father snapped bringing his attention back to him._

"_N-No." Ianto stuttered. "I'll get up and go to school I swear."_

_His father stared at him for a moment before tossing him in the direction of the stairs._

"_Go to bed." He said. "You've got school in the morning."_

_Holding his bloody hand to his chest, Ianto scrambled up the steps. He didn't dare go to the bathroom. He simply went to him and Rhiannon's room. _

"_Rhiannon." He whispered as he opened up his hand. "I'm going to need your help."_

_Sitting down on his bed, he watched Rhiannon fish out the first aid kit from under her bed. She sat across from him and he held the flashlight he'd retrieved from his nightstand above his hand. He heard his sister hiss as she pulled the glass from his hand. He snorted, he was the one getting the glass pulled from him and he hadn't made a sound._

"_You should have came up here with me." She muttered as she wrapped his hand._

"_Then we would have both been in trouble for not cleaning up the glass." Ianto replied. "No matter what we do, we can't win with him."_

_Nodding, Rhiannon taped his bandage close before sitting back._

"_All done." She gave him a tired smile._

"_Great, thank you." He said. "Now lets get into bed." _

_Rhiannon got up and crawled into her own bed. Ianto burrowed under his covers and closed his eyes with a tired sigh. He would have to get up in a couple of hours, he would not be looking forward to that._

_End Flashback._

Ianto knew why the shirt had reminded him of that memory now. Because when he had awaken the next morning. He had bled through his bandage, in a pattern that looked very much like the one on the shirt.

"You alright?"

Jumping, Ianto put the shirt down to find Martha leaning against the door frame.

"Sorry?" He said lamely although he'd heard her loud and clear.

Martha nodded to the shirt.

"You've been staring at that shirt for nearly ten minutes. I called your name twice." She said gently.

"Oh." Was all Ianto could say.

Martha gave him a sympathetic look.

"Would you like me to fine you a different shirt?" She asked.

Shaking his head, Ianto yanked the shirt over his head. He didn't want to make Martha do more than she was already.

"Well I made you some breakfast." She said grinning. "Granted it's two in the afternoon but it's the only thing I could think of."

Ianto gave her a small smile.

"Breakfast sounds wonderful." He said.

"Follow me then." She said turning and heading for the kitchen.

--

"I have a question." Ianto said as they sat down at the table.

Martha looked at him, her head tilting to the side, waiting for him to continue.

"Yes?" She prompted.

"How come I wasn't buried?" He asked.

Smiling, Martha took a bit of her toast. Ianto then looked down at his food and then he suddenly began to eat. It'd been six months since he'd had anything to eat. And this was delicious.

"You weren't buried," Martha began after sipping at her orange juice. "Because I was assigned to giving the autopsies for the people who died in that building."

Ianto frowned as he placed his fried egg on his toast.

"I don't understand." He said before taking a huge bit.

Martha laughed slightly at him as his cheeks puffed out.

"I made sure that you were one of the last." She explained "Gwen said you'd come back once before and all we had to do was give you time. She refused to give up on you."

"But." Ianto began around the food in his mouth. "Everyone died of poison, why--."

Saving him the trouble of talking with his mouth fool, Martha got the jest of what he was asking.

"Gwen showed me the footage of you coming back after the incident with Lisa." She explained. "So I convinced the people in charge that each person needed an autopsy before they were to be buried. That took a month and I've been doing two bodies a week since then."

Ianto nodded.

"Well thank you." He said. "I probably would have gone crazy and died again if I would have been buried."

Martha nodded.

"Where's Tom?" Ianto asked. "I noticed the engagment ring is no longer on your finger."

Martha smiled as she wiggled the fingers on her left hand.

"We broke up." She said simply.

"I'm sorry." Ianto offered.

"I'm not." Martha shrugged. "It was more of a mutual agreement than anything, I mean we're still friends and all. But he wanted to get married and have a gang load of kids. Wanted me to be a stay home mum. I'm too committed to my job for that. I don't want to be tied down with children just yet. So we went our separate ways."

Ianto nodded in understanding.

They fell into a comfortable silence. Martha watching him carefully as he ate and Ianto making sure that he ate everything on the plate. Martha even gave up half of her sausages and bacon for him. It wasn't until breakfast was coming to an end did Ianto speak again.

"Martha," He said quietly. "Where's Jack?"

**Second chapter done. I actually like this one better than the first one. I'm not sure why but I do. **

**Reviews keep my fingers typing chapters guys!Danyi**


	3. As The World Falls Down

**As The World Falls Down**

**Hey guys, sorry the little bit of a wait. I was really busy these past couple of days. I had to register for school and go to the last party of the summer. I had a doctors appointment and a dentist appointment. And I was going to get my lip pierced but the dude who I always go to is out of town. Oh and I have summer ready I have to finish before the 20th lol. But those things don't really concern you guys I suppose.**

**So, quick recap. Ianto's been taken from the freezer. He's alive and not the Owen type of brought back from the dead. He is really alive. He's staying with Martha until everything gets figured out. But Gwen and Martha have been avoiding telling him that Jack is gone. Now they kind have to.**

**A/N-This one is named after a song in the movie Labyrinth and it's sung by David Bowie.**

**Disclaimer-Don't own Torchwood, sadness really lol but I'll get over it.**

Martha cursed in her head. She'd been hoping he'd hold off on that question for just a little while longer. But then again this was Ianto, straight to the point, always wanted everything to be explained and organized. He had a right to know where Jack was, anyone who had every seen them together would think he would have demanded to know where he was when they went to get him from the freezer.

"Martha." His bright eyes pleaded with her. "Where is he?"

Reaching across the table, Martha took his hands in her own. She knew that there was a very high chance Ianto would have a breakdown. Or that he might scream and yell, she thought about clearing away the plates from the table incase he decided to flip it or something. People tended to break things when they were angry.

Martha had even broken something, she was so angry at Jack for leaving. He had come to say goodbye and everything.

_Flashback._

"_So to what do I owe this pleasure?" Martha teased as she stepped aside and allowed the man to walk into her living room._

_When he didn't answer, Martha frowned. No smart assed comment? No flirting wink? He turned to face her and Martha was alarmed to see tears leaking from his usually playful blue eyes._

"_Jack?" She said hesitantly, stepping towards him. "What's wrong?"_

_Without answering, Jack took the last couple of steps toward her before scooping her into a bear hug. His hands balling into fists in the back of her top. Martha frowned in confusion, she couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Jack cry. She wasn't even sure if she'd ever seen him cry. _

_Rubbing his back, Martha simply held him as she shook slightly in her arms. She didn't know how long they stood there just like that but after a while he pulled back. Martha held his face between her hands and studied his face._

"_Ianto's dead."_

_Martha's eyes widened and she didn't even get a chance to ask how before Jack burst into tears again. Quickly, she shushed him and wiped them away. Pulling his head down to kiss his forehead, she began to gently guide him towards the couch._

_Once they were sitting, Jack seemed to cuddle into her side. Martha watched with slight fear, she'd never seen Captain Jack Harkness look so broken, so lost before. She rested her head on top of his and waited for whatever was to come next, an explanation or more silence, Martha didn't mind either._

"_It was my fault." Jack muttered after twenty minutes._

"_How so?" Martha asked._

"_I should have made him stay with Gwen or go with Rhys." Jack replied. "I never should have taken him with me to talk to the 456."_

_Martha's eyes widened, he'd died because of the 456. So many people had died because of that damn alien. And it had only been two weeks ago, the world was still trying to put itself back together really. Children had not been to school or even out on the street. Their parents kept them home, under their watchful eyes._

"_How did he die?" She muttered._

"_They poisoned him." Jack replied. "Filled the whole building with poison, everyone died."_

_Martha bit her lip. Jack's eyes suddenly flickered up to her._

"_I can't stay here anymore." He said._

"_Stay….where?" Martha asked confused._

"_Here. On Earth." Jack answered. "I have to leave."_

_Staring down at him, Martha raised an eyebrow._

"_What about Gwen?" She asked. "Don't you think you two need to stick together?"_

"_She has Rhys." Jack shrugged. "I don't have anyone anymore."_

"_I'm no one?" Martha tried to sound offended._

_Jack offered her a small smile and shook his head._

"_You're definitely someone," He said quietly. "But you have Tom."_

_Folding her arms across her chest, Martha opened her mouth to argue._

"_But I will always be here for you." She said. "No matter what Jack."_

_He shrugged again._

"_There's a ship coming, a spaceship." He said softly. "I'm going to catch and start traveling again."_

"_No!" Martha exclaimed. "You can't do that, you can't just leave us!"_

"_I got left!" Jack nearly yelled. "He left me!"_

"_Not on purpose and you know that." Martha replied. "Ianto would never leave you on purpose, he loves you too much for that."_

"_Have you ever noticed how everyone who loves me and I love them die?" Jack asked bitterly, his eyes becoming hard. "That is why I hate telling people I love them."_

_Shaking her head, Martha stood up and began to pace._

"_You can't leave Jack." She said. "Earth needs you, the government needs you, Gwen needs you, bloody hell Jack I need you!"_

"_And what about what I need?" Jack demanded. "What I need is to get off this damn planet before I get my heart broken again."_

"_Your heart isn't the only one getting broken Jack." Martha snapped._

_Jack's eyes softened and he stood up. Looking down at his boots he shuffled for a moment._

"_The spaceship will be here in six months." He said softly. "I'll come and say goodbye before I leave."_

"_No." Martha said shaking her head firmly. "If you're going to do this, I want you to say goodbye now."_

_Jack looked at her for a moment._

"_You're an amazing woman Martha Jones." He said quietly._

_Rolling her eyes, Martha placed her hands on her hips. Jack could see the unshed tears in her eyes. _

"_Please don't do this Jack." She whispered. _

"_I have to." He said._

_Closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose, Martha refused to cry in front of him. She was just about to tell him to get out when she found herself being hugged again. Letting out a sigh, she hugged him back as tightly as possible. He stepped back from her slightly and kissed her cheek._

"_I'll never forget you Martha Jones." He whispered in her ear._

"_You act like we're never going to see each other again." She commented looking up at him._

"_Who knows." He shrugged. "It's possible."_

"_Bullocks." Martha replied. "I will see you again, even if it means that I have to call the Doctor to find you."_

_Jack grinned._

"_You'd go through all that trouble just for little o' me?" He asked._

_Martha didn't even smirk. She simply stared at him._

"_You should go." She said quietly._

_Jack bit his lip before sighing and nodding. She watched him walk to the door and open it. As he stepped over the threshold, he gave her a bright smile._

"_It really has been a pleasure," He grinned. "Goodbye Martha."_

_Martha shook her head,_

"_I won't say goodbye to you Jack." She said._

_She turned away as he shut the door. Martha wasn't even sure why she was suddenly very angry. All she knew was that she was angry to the point where she hated Jack for doing this. How could he leave at a time like this? When everything was trying to be mended together. Granted this spaceship of his didn't come for another six months, it was going to take a while for things to be put back together._

_Picking up the only picture she had of Jack, Martha stared down at it. She gone to a pub with Jack and Ianto during her short stay at Torchwood. They were sitting at a table, Martha in the middle of the two guys, all three of them smiling brightly at the camera. _

_A few tears fell from her eyes, they traveled down her cheeks and dripped onto the frame holding the picture. Martha stared at the tears for a moment, she was just a whorl wind of emotions, sad, angry, confused. She felt it all and before she knew what she was doing, she threw the frame at the wall. She heard the glass part break and watched it slide to the floor._

_Then she laid down on the couch and cried. Jack was gone and he wasn't coming back._

_End Flashback_

"Martha?"

Ianto was staring at her. They were still holding hands and she must have been staring off into space.

"Sorry, got lost in my thoughts." She said grinning.

He gave her a smile but his face soon became serious again.

"Where is he?" He asked. "Something's happened to him hasn't it?"

His hands began tense in her grip and Martha shushed him. Her thumb stroking the back of his hand.

"I suppose it would be best if I just came out and told you." She murmured.

"That would be appreciated." Ianto remarked dryly.

Raising an eyebrow at him, Martha took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. Her hands tightened around his. She noticed for a second, how big his hands were compared to hers.

"Jack left, he teleported himself onto a spaceship." She said. "He said he couldn't stay on Earth anymore."

Martha watched Ianto carefully. Looking for his reaction. He was staring at, her words processing in his mind. She watched as every emotion of non happiness washed over him. She was not sure whether or not he was going to cry or yell. Someone like Owen would have started yelling right away. While someone like Gwen would have begun to cry.

Ianto's reaction was neither. He actually took Martha by surprise by gently releasing her hands and standing up. She watched him as he picked up their plates and headed over to the sink. To Martha's surprise and great confusion he began to do the dishes. This was not the reaction she had expected at all. As he washed the first plate, he slid it along the counter until it crashed to the floor. The next plate he did the same exact thing. Martha watched in both confusion and fascination as he broke two more plates and a glass. It took her a moment to realize what he was doing.

He was shutting down.

"Damn it!" Martha muttered jumping to her feet.

Moving behind him, she watched as he pushed another glass to the floor with a loud crash. Putting a hand on his shoulder, he tensed to the point where he was shaking. Gripping his sides, Martha guided him away from the sink, leading him towards the living room, she made him sit on the couch. This was the first time she actually got to see his face.

He looked rejected.

Sitting on her knees in front of him, Martha wiped away the tears. She watched him with a sad expression on her face. She hated seeing Ianto in pain like this.

"He left." Ianto whispered.

Martha nodded slowly.

Suddenly gave a loud gasp of breath and the tears started to streak down his cheeks. His breathing became hectic and he was one second away from sobbing.

Martha scrambled onto the couch and pulled him to her.

"Shh, Ianto." She muttered. "Don't worry, I'm here to take care of you."

"I don't want you to take care of me!" Ianto yelled pushing her away. "I want Jack to take care of me!"

Biting her lip, Martha watched him. He ran his hands roughly over his face. Smearing his tears everywhere.

"H-H-H-He left!" Ianto sobbed as he pulled his legs to his chest and buried his face in his arms.

Martha didn't say anything, she didn't touch him either. He didn't want to be touched at the moment. She'd leave him be.

"Why?" Ianto's voice asked from somewhere in the crook of his arm.

"He said," Martha began slowly. "That he needed to leave, that it was his fault you were dead and that he was tired of the people he loved dying because of him."

"But it wasn't his fault!" Ianto's head shot up.

He gripped at the front of Martha's top. His face close to her, his eyes begging her to believe him.

"Honestly Martha it wasn't!" He exclaimed. "I went willingly with him!"

"I know love." She said. "I know it wasn't his fault, I tried to tell him that."

Ianto's face crumbled and he buried it in her stomach. Staring down at his head of curly hair, Martha ran her fingers through it. His body was shaking but no sounds where escaping him.

"You don't have to hold it in you know." Martha murmured. "Let it out Ianto, you're just making it worse holding it in. You can go ahead and cry, cry your heart out. I won't think any less of you."

She wasn't sure if the whole thing did the trick or if one certain part did it. But Ianto let go, he let it all go. And he cried, he cried hard into the fabric of her shirt. Wrapping her arms around his head, Martha leaned down to bury her face in his hair. Her tears slipping from her eyes that were squeezed closed tightly.

They sat like that for nearly two hours, somewhere in those two hours, Martha sat back against the arm rest of the couch. Her fingers dragged a pattern through Ianto's hair. And he didn't look up at her until he had completely calmed down. She gave him a smile and he returned a shaky one.

"I'm going to help you get through this Ianto." She told him gently. "That is, if you want me to."

He stared at her for a moment before nodding.

"You won't ever leave me?" He questioned.

Martha shook her head firmly and scratched at his scalp.

"Never."

**Right, I'm not sure bout this chapter. But for the most part I like it. I like the flashback and I like Ianto's mini breakdown. However that's just the beginning of it. **

**Reviews keep my fingers typing chapters!**

**Danyi**


	4. Vermillion

**Vermillion**

**Hey guys! It's raining it's ass off here in Denver. But that's cool, gives me a chance to stay inside and write. Cause I already know as soon as I go back to school I won't have much time to write. I'll be a junior and I've been hearing it's your hardest year of school. But I'm ready for it, I'm actually pretty excited. And yea I'm aware that makes me sound like a complete and total dork lol. And this woulda been uploaded like yesterday morning but the site was being weird and wouldn't let me.**

**Anyways! Ianto had a breakdown last chapter. He was finally told that Jack had left. Which is heart breaking seeing as how Ianto loves that man. On the bright side of that, Martha is here to take care of Ianto. She told him she'd never leave him.**

**A/N-This one is named after a song called "Vermillion" and it's by Slipknot.**

**Disclaimer-Don't own Torchwood sadly enough.**

After giving Gwen a call to assure her that Ianto was indeed still alive and settling in fine, Martha turned on the Television. She and Ianto were still laying on the couch, him on top of her. She didn't mind though. Those last six months had not been kind to his body. Ianto had lost a lot of weight. He was very, very light. Martha tried her hardest not to go into medical mode but she feared that he just barely weighted over a hundred pounds.

"What are you thinking about?"

His voice broke her thoughts and she blinked.

"Huh?" She said at once.

He had been watching her, a curious look in his blue eyes. He rested his chin on her chest and blinked at her.

"What are you thinking about?" He repeated. "It's bad, I can tell."

Tilting her head, Martha gave him a teasing grin.

"How can you tell?" She asked.

He gently touched the bridge of her nose,

"You get a wrinkle in her nose, when you're thinking bout something that isn't good." Drawing his hand back, Ianto seemed to realize what he'd just done and blushed red.

Martha pretended not to noticed and shrugged.

"Can't help it." She said grinning.

"You still haven't answered my question." Ianto pointed out.

Laughing, Martha gave a dramatic sigh while beginning to run her fingers through his hair. She had to admit, this was becoming her latest obsession.

"You're underweight." She said softly. "Severely, and it worries me."

Ianto sighed too and nodded.

"I know," He murmured. "And I thought I'd be starving for the longest."

He paused to lay his head sideways on her chest, his grip tightening on her waist.

"But I'm not hungry."

Martha felt him yawn against her and she scratched his scalp,

"Sleep Ianto." She said quietly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You'll be here when I wake up?" He asked gently.

Leaning forward, Martha kissed the top of his head.

"I'm not going anywhere." She repeated firmly. "I promise."

--

Gwen was sitting on the couch rubbing her belly. The baby had been kicking like crazy ever since she'd gotten the call from Ianto. Rhys reckoned it was because this was the happiest Gwen had been since before the 456.

"How did he survive?"

Turning her head, Gwen met Rhys's eyes. Biting her lip she turned back to her stomach. That question had been bugging her, there was something not right about this. They all wanted it to have some reasonable explanation but every time Gwen tried to find one she realized something else that shattered her theory completely.

"I've been trying to figure it out." Gwen said quietly. "But I can't, it doesn't make any since at all."

"Well then maybe it's not suppose to make sense." Rhys shrugged. "Maybe this is one of those times something has happened and there's no reason as to why."

Gwen gave him a small smile. If only it was that simple. They may not have had the Hub but they were still Torchwood. And things in Torchwood were never that simple.

"Are you still tracking him?" Rhys asked suddenly.

She didn't answer, instead she reached over the back of the sofa and pulled the laptop to her. Flipping it open, she glanced at the TV, not really seeing watch was happening on the screen. Once she found the program she was looking for, Gwen opened it up. A green map lit up on the screen. It looked like a radar, only it was tracking or trying to track something that had not shown up once.

"Are you sure you have it wired right?" Rhys asked.

"If he comes back this thing will go haywire." Gwen said firmly. "I know so."

Rhys sighed and kissed the side of her head. Sometimes Gwen would spend hours in front of that laptop, watching the green map. Waiting for it to spark to life, and in six months nothing had happened. Rhys was beginning to wonder if this was going to be a problem in the future.

After all he had said he was leaving for good hadn't he?

--

Five hours later, the sun set and Ianto was still sleep. Martha didn't have the heart to wake him but she was getting kind of hungry. Her fingers had been running through his hair absently all the while she watched various TV shows. Some of them she really enjoyed while others were just a load of bullocks in her opinion.

Suddenly, Ianto become very tense on top of her. His hands gripping at her sides almost painfully. Looking down at him, Martha wondered what he was dreaming about. His face had been peaceful moments ago and now he was frowning, almost whimpering in either fear or sadness, or maybe both.

Rubbing at his back, Martha willed the nightmares to go away. Ianto didn't need them right now. He really didn't. He was going through enough, he'd come back from the dead after six months of being gone, found out that Jack had left and had a slight mental breakdown because of it. Nightmares were just icing on the cake.

His grip was becoming painful on her waist and Martha squirmed a bit trying to loosen it some. Tears were leaking from Ianto's closed eyes and Martha brushed them away. Surprised that he did not wake up, Martha pushed his curly bangs away from his eyes.

"No, don't." He whimpered. "Don't leave me. Please Jack."

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Martha made a vow right then and there that if she ever saw Captain Jack Harkness again she was going to punch him.

Sitting up as much as possible, Martha began to gently shake Ianto. He had buried his face in her stomach but the whimpering was still pretty clear.

"Ianto." She said quietly. "Ianto wake up."

Shaking him a little harder, Martha leaned over the back of his head. She pressed her lips to the curly hair before picking her head up slightly.

"Ianto!" She just about squeaked when she was sure his fingers were leaving bruises.

His head snapped up. Martha had not been expecting him to move that fast. And the back of his head collided with her face.

The thud that followed was wince worthy, if anyone would have been watching.

Martha cried out and her hands flew to her nose. While Ianto scrambled back from her. His blue eyes wide in confusion. He watched as Martha leaned forward, her hands covering her nose. She buried her face in the crook of her leg and it was silent for a moment. Then Ianto jumped from the couch.

"Oh god Martha!" He exclaimed kneeling next to her. "I'm so sorry!"

She didn't reply and Ianto put a hand on her shoulder. He wondered if he'd broken her nose. If he had then he'd feel bad about it forever.

"Martha, are you okay?" He asked gently. "Shit me and my rock head!"

Leaning close to her buried face he tried to gently pull her away from her leg. But she wouldn't budge.

"I've broken your nose haven't I?" He said frantically. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's not." Martha's muffled voice said.

"What?" He asked.

"It's not broken." She said. "But I'm going to need a towel."

Jumping to his feet, Ianto just about ran into the kitchen as he grabbed a fresh dish towel and went back to the living room. Pressing the towel to her hands, Ianto gripped her shoulders and gently pulled her to a sitting position. He gasped when he saw blood running from her nose.

"Bad idea." Martha mumbled as the world spun and she nearly fell off the couch.

Ianto steadied her and then stared at the blood in shock.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered.

Martha chuckled and pressed towel to her nose.

"No harm done." She shrugged as she leaned back against the arm and put her head back. "Nothing's broken so I'm fine."

"You're bleeding." Ianto pointed out. "Got blood on your pant leg."

Martha chuckled again.

"They can be washed." She replied. "And the blood will stop."

Ianto opened his mouth to say something but found that whatever he would say, Martha would just laugh and tell him it was fine.

"Do you need some ice?" He asked weakly.

Shaking her head, Martha swung her legs over the couch. Ianto stood up and held out a hand to her. She took it with a smile and he looked at with questionly.

"Bathroom." She said simply.

Nodding they set off in that direction. Ianto chewing at his lip nervously and Martha trying very hard not to laugh at how worried he was that he'd hurt her. Sure it hurt but nothing was broken and the bleeding would stop, so she wasn't mad at him. She wouldn't have been made at him if he had of broken it. Martha didn't think she could ever truly be mad of the Welsh man helping her to the bathroom.

Flipping on the light, Martha removed the towel from her face and gazed at herself in the mirror. It wasn't serious or anything, simply a bloody nose. Leaning over the sink, Martha began to wash the blood away.

"I'm sorry Martha." Ianto said running his hands through his hair.

"Ianto," She began standing up and wiping blood from her nose. "If you say you're sorry one more time I'm going to hit you."

He gave her a small smile and Martha wiped away the rest of the blood. When she was sure the blood had stopped she turned to him and gave him a wide grin.

"Well, we could order take out and watch some movies." She said. "How's that sound?"

He nodded, turning to head back into the living room and to let Martha out the bathroom. Seeing as how he'd been blocking the door.

"What do you want to eat?" She asked.

"Pizza?" Ianto suggested. "I've been craving pizza."

Laughing, Martha nodded and picked up the phone. As she ordered, Ianto absently looked at the television. He never really liked watching TV, he found most of the shows stupid. All the good old shows had been cancelled and replaced with dumb things. So he spent most of his time reading.

It was then he caught sight of Martha's three bookcases on the wall farthest from the TV. Standing up at once, Ianto made his way over to them. As he began to scan the shelves he did not notice Martha watching him. She sat criss cross on the couch, he chin placed in one of her palms.

"You can read anything you like." She said gently.

Ianto turned to her and gave her a smile, he had seen some he would like to read. Nodding, he came back over to the couch and took a seat. They sat in silence for a few moments before Martha hopped up and headed over to the stack of DVDs that sat next to her television.

"What should we watch?" She muttered.

There was a knock on the door and Martha stood. Ianto had gotten to his feet as well.

"Pizza!"

Grinning brightly at him, Martha sprinted for the door. Ianto catching on quickly caught her around the waist as she tried to pass him. Slinging her onto the couch he jumped over the back of it. He was almost to the door but Martha jumped onto his back.

"My door!" She laughed. "I get to answer it!"

"It use to be my job to open doors!" Ianto replied all the while laughing. "And I'm hungry!"

He struggled to untangle her arms from his neck. Martha poked him in the side and Ianto squirmed as he tried hard not to giggle. Martha poked him again and his legs gave out from under him. They went tumbling to the ground and Martha was the first to start crawling towards the door.

Ianto's hand clasped around her ankle and she felt fingers on the bottom of her feet. Shrieking, Martha began laughing as she tried to rip her foot from his firm grip. Ianto pulled her close to him, pinning her under him. Martha was still laughing as he gazed down at her. Her laughter reduced to giggles as she stared up at him with her large brown eyes.

"Um Ianto?" She giggled waving a hand in front of his face.

"Huh?" He muttered.

There was another knock on the door.

"The door." Martha giggled.

Looking at the door, Ianto stood up before pulling Martha to her feet at as well. She brushed away invisible dust before turning to the door and pulling it open. The man who was standing there was not the pizza guy. He looked her up and down, a smile forming on his face. Then he looked at Ianto over his shoulder and a huge grin plastered itself onto his handsome face.

Martha could practically feel the tension rolling from Ianto. He had begun to breath hectically and his hand was reaching for hers. Holding it tightly.

The man gave a cheerful laugh and looked at Ianto like a kid who has just seen Santa.

"Eye Candy!"

**Haha perfect cliffhanger! This chapter took longer than I wanted it to. But I'm really happy with it for some reason.**

**Reviews keep my fingers typing chapters!**

**Danyi**


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